Although I do my best to keep the "all about me" factor out of this blog, today I am making an exception. Tomorrow, July 10, is my birthday. 55. Whew--how did the last thirty years slip by so quickly? Yesterday, while Woki and I were out walking, I began to think of my younger self and how I envisioned then what my life would be like now. When I was really young, before children (yes, kids age you), I never thought much beyond age thirty, but at some later point, I developed a vision for my mid-fifties. I thought we would live in L.B. or L.F. in a large, well-appointed house suitable for entertaining on a regular basis. Our three perfect daughters would live near enough to stop by on weekends. We would spend a good deal of our time at the Club for golf, tennis, and weekend parties. Our friends would host fun gatherings which we would drive to in our black Mercedes. For our 25th anniversary, I would receive a large diamond, and we would take a trip to Italy.
Cut to Reality.
Ex-husband has the Mercedes, but the two of us never made it to our 25th anniversary. In fact, for several years now, we have been happily remarried to other people. The three daughters are still perfect (well, almost) but only two of them live nearby, and I don't see enough of any of them. Parties are rare in my tiny house (at least until the incontinent cat has gone to the great litter box in the sky), and there certainly is no golf, tennis, or Club. Thank God. And thank God that I live in this beautiful town, that I have a job I love, and that I have a wonderful, considerate, and talented husband who brings me joy every day and has a high tolerance for my weirdness. I am finding my way down a path that I never expected to take, but as John Lennon said, "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."
I would like to think that I can envision myself at 65. Jerry and I will be financially secure enough to retire and spend our days in our favorite pursuits: reading, walking, traveling, enjoying good food and wine, and finding success with our passions for music and writing. How wonderful that would be, but what's really going to happen?